Vegetarian (For A) Week
I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve never been a fan of vegetarians or vegans. I hate the way they push an agenda on everyone with such militant force. I hate the whole holier than thou attitude because they choose to not eat meat. I hate that there are sometimes I cannot even enjoy a ham and cheese sandwich without listening to a 25-minute speech about how not eating meat helps with digestion or some little factoid that was cherry picked for this subject. I really hadn’t expected this to change until sometime last week when a friend bet me 50 dollars I couldn’t last a week. And that brings us to now, starting my week as a vegetarian and these are my immediate afterthoughts recorded at the end of the day.
Day One: Thereâ€™s not much to write about today, except for what I ate. I’ve never been a morning person, so this entire week, if I skip breakfast the world can break an egg. Lunch and dinner, however, both consisted of a basic salad (lettuce, spinach, carrots, and broccoli). Aside from the ranch I added to the top, nothing can really give this flavor and that’s saying something because I had access and tried four different kinds of spices and dressings. Another thing is I’m worried that since I run three miles a day and typically eat my protein, that I’ll start feeling sluggish soon and crash. Overall it wasnâ€™t too bad, though not worth doing over again.
Day Two: Holy crap, I hate being right about yesterday’s prediction. I’m tired but not in the â€śmeh, I’ll roll over in a few minutesâ€ť kind of way. The closest thing I can even imagine is maybe running a triathlon in the Sahara Desert with a bag full of rabid dogs in a sac over your shoulder. Finding protein is essential, while it takes at least a month for your body to stop producing the proper enzymes to break down meat, I need protein right now to keep myself from looking like a ginger Amy Winehouse on a crack binge. Found out the campus store has peanut butter and bought two jars, all it took was a spoonful and I felt on top of the world.
Day Three: HOT DAMN, I’M ON TOP OF THE WORLD. No seriously, I feel like I could take on a train at full speed with no brakes. I managed to run my three miles in under twenty minutes and still had enough energy to do other things. Only thing that really sucks is that I still miss the taste of meat. There’s something about a nice crisp piece of Jowl Bacon to wake you up and make you feel alive, and I missed it so much my friend gave me a piece of Tofu Bacon. Let me just say, this tastes nothing like bacon. Saying this is like bacon is like saying you drank vodka all night when you really just dumped some vodka on some skittles to get rid of that â€śickyâ€ť flavor. Another thing, what kind of sick chowder head came up with this stuff? Correct me if I’m wrong, but most vegetarians and vegans claim they do it so an animal doesn’t have to die for them to eat; so why would they want to eat something that is supposed to taste like it?
Stay tuned to find out how the rest of the week went.
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