Truck Pulling Penis: An Ancient Chinese Art
There are a lot of martial arts forms out there: from Brazilian Capoeira to Nigerian Dambe to American Karate and Kickboxing.
Almost every civilization has developed a type of martial arts as form of close combat fighting, meditation or health. The Chinese have a lot. In fact, there are several hundred variations of the martial arts in China, practiced for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
There is a grace and beauty to most martial arts. I’m sure that’s true of Qigong – which means “Life Energy Cultivation” – as I know a few people who practice it. Qigong masters are healers, known to be able to project their own life energy through to another person to help heal them.
99 Power Qigong, also known as Jiu Jiu Shen Gong, is a slightly different variation. Originally developed as a holistic answer to male impotence, 99 Power Qigong is becoming known as a way to pull trucks today. WITH YOUR DICK. Yup, you heard that right. In fact, check out the YouTube video below. That would be Grand Master Tu Jin-Sheng pulling the truck with his junk.
Let’s back up a bit, I’ll tell you about the philosophy behind it. Humpasaur Jones interviewed Tu, who said:
“For human beings, the reproductive system is the most important source. That’s where your energies originate. Within the human brain, your hormone producing glands are active until you reach puberty. After puberty, that decreases and a most of your hormones are produced by your reproductive organs. You reach a sexual peak in your thirties, after which your reproductive organs start to shrink and you get weaker.”
“This is why once you reach puberty, it is more difficult to correct bad habits and learn things like a new language. If you have an accent at this age, you will probably never lose it. This is due to the decrease in your brain’s hormonal production causing a decline in your mental capacity to process new information.”
“Chinese qigong masters realized this. What they sought to achieve was a method of prolonging the peak of your reproductive period. At the same time, they wanted to keep your mind sharp so you could continue to learn new things and cultivate wisdom.”
It sounds like there might be some real science behind it, somewhere. At the very least, there’s several hundred years of anecdotal evidence.
Other folks practice this “art” as well. Want China Times reports that Yang You-sin, a Taiwanese manual laborer, started doing Qigong after his years of labor left him with swelling limbs and a permanently sore back. Yang met Tu Jin-Sheng, who encouraged him to start practicing Qigong. The results are… interesting.
“Yang showed his friends the results of his daily practice. First, he uses a red cloth to tie several iron disks to his genitals to warm up. When he feels prepared, he steps onto two pedestals and crouches down to tie iron weights weighing 230kg to his penis. He then stands up slowly, lifting the iron disks off the ground for 30 seconds. His friends have been, for lack of a better word, fascinated by his performance.”
230 kilograms doesn’t sound like much, does it? So I did the math for you. That is just a little over 500 pounds. Really. The man lifts 500 pounds with his PENIS.
Oh, but it gets better. My favorite headline so far is “Three Taiwanese Masters Pull 10 ton truck filled with 100 people with genitals.” Where did I find such a headline? Why, at the International Journal of Sexual Kung Fu, that’s where.
Ladies, are you feeling left out yet? Don’t worry, there’s a version of 99 Power Qigong for you too. I’m sure you have done kegel exercises; well this takes it to the next level. You too can learn to lift hundreds of pounds with nothing more than a jade egg inserted into your vagina with a string hanging out. Talk about grip!
Image Credit: KungFuMagazine.com