The Grim Reaper’s Playlist
Remember that Tupac song you wanted to be played at your funeral?
Now you can take it to your grave.
From a brand called Pause Ljud & Bild comes a coffin with a complete sound system, because you know it gets boring in that tight space listening to worms eating your flesh. Now, this may be the most obscure product I have ever heard put on the market for consumers (and that’s saying something in a world where the shake weight is selling like hotcakes). It’s called the CataCombo Sound System which encompasses a coffin and a complete sound system.
This whole shindig is set up through a “Cataplay” app which is set up through spotify (if you followed all of that) so friends and family can be so generous as to add songs to your playlist so you can shake, raddle, roll or cabbage patch in the convenience of your new home six feet under. Or if you have friends like mine then they would probably put a mix of Justin Bieber, Ricky martin and Rick Astley to keep you plenty tortured on your way to Hell.
By the way, if you are on your way to Hell then you are probably being punished for that time you screamed “ThugLife” when no one was around in the 90’s (didn’t think that would catch up with you, did it?)
But moving on, How does it sound is the true question right? Well the website states the coffin has two speakers a pair of external cooled tweeters and an 8 inch subwoofer so I’m sure even the dead would hear the guitar riffs and bass of their favorite songs that came out while they were living. The coffin does also sport an LCD monitor that does in fact show which songs is playing, because when you’re dead this is one of your main concerns.
You guys can scoff all you want but the people that buy this are actually a few steps ahead, preparing for the zombie apocalypse and all. Just think when all those zombies who don’t have the CataCombo Sound System get all bored and start clawing their way above ground. The helpless humans will mistake the zombies’ effort to find new friends and have a good time for them going on a brain munching assault on the Earth and blast them away to bites of dust. Meanwhile the geniuses who bought the Sound System Will be quietly relaxing to some of their favorite songs.
There are a few setbacks for those wanting to purchase the Boom Box Coffin. For starters, the few who jump on the band wagon are gonna skip the first step in purchasing technology: never buy the first version! You already know that their going to make a newer model which will have a full touch screen with internet features so you guys can simply swipe through the internet. By the way remember to be soft with your touch (because we all know zombies don’t have the best luck keeping all of their limbs intact). And the last set back I will only address in one statement: I just feel sorry for the person who has to change your batteries!
But if you want to be one of the early bandwagonners you can scoop this baby up for about $30,000 here.
Oh yeah and now is the time to insert your Thriller jokes.
Image Credit: Pause Ljud & Bild