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Strap On Your Camouflage For Black Friday

Nov 22, 12 Strap On Your Camouflage For Black Friday

The war has only just begun.

It’s a misquote: What Ian McKellan’s character, Magneto, actually said in X-2 was ‘The War has just begun”. Respect my desire to correctly cite quotes from one of the greatest actors of all time.

Respect it.

And while we’re on the footnote of Ian McKellan, who’s going to go see The Hobbit in theaters this year? I wasn’t born in that time period, I’m a matrix guy. The first comparison to Morpheus that I see will result in some very cruel and hateful thoughts voiced loud and clearly to myself.

Don’t get on that side of my brain that you’ll never hear.

Don’t do it.

It’s that tedious and very pathetic time of the year again when Americans crowd, camp and collide with pepper spray and last week’s publishing of The New York Times in competition for that 47” plasma on sale. Endless (seemingly) lines of cold and impatient people snacking on beef jerky have begun to spring around the greater Houston area. Best Buy, Target, Walt-Mart, Circuit City-these guys have got a lot of cleaning up to do, come Sunday morning.

The very first retail job I had was at Target-and it was also the first Black Friday sale that I endured. I worked a twelve a hour shift from  8 am to 8 pm, and I still recall how awesome it was being tossed around in Target’s electronics section. Tossed around?

Not that kind of store.

Its like Christmas for adults! Except the adults are flesh eating zombies. I’ve many stories of cruel and unusual acts of violence from my exploits from 2011′s Black Friday.

The first five minutes after we opened, a 62 year old male punched a 21 year woman in the face.

Fifteen minutes later that 62 year old male’s brother got caught trying to steal a television in the crowd’s pandemonium.

Not but six miles away around the same time another man had been stabbed in the stomach for God knows what electronic that he managed to snag.

It’s absolute chaos!!! But oh so satisfying when we snag a moment in the year to make a leap for the best economic deals on the next Ipad, Laptop, HDTV, PS3, and Wii U depending on how fast you can sprint. Economics are one of the truest tests of human character, and every year we get a great glimpse on the 9′o clock news at just how sick and disorderly that character can get.

Are any of you lovely folks waiting for a deal of your own?

I prefer to think of this time of year as my grace period of tech steals before they get sold out. I figure that if you’re not over the age of twenty five, you probably have no business camping out a retail store if you have a job, school, or the next episode of Dexter to watch.

For example, I just ordered my laptop from Newegg less than twenty four hours ago-and it only took me four hours to make the final decision.

Now that’s efficiency!

I surfed (Clicked, rather) around the internet for a replica of a Lenovo laptop with a dual core processor and at least 320 gigabytes of harddrive space AND four gigabytes of DDR3 ram  with Windows 7 still breathing as the OS.

I’m a picky kind of guy…

That all ran me to a simple 299. I’ve lived long enough to understand the thousands of online discounts and Black Friday deals in this particular part of Texas, as well as the blowhards who shove the implications of impatience in my face. I have this to say.

Bite me.

I love technology, and I don’t care what discount you got for me! I’m quite content with my overpriced technical hardware.

Somehow, it feels better this way.

Image Credit: Photos.com

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