Playing A Game
Do you ever have that moment when you don’t want to leave the bed? Being depressed is like that, except it is not a “oh, I don’t want to go to work” or “I will leave the room later” moment. It is more like playing hide and seek with the world.
While you hide in your room, or under the covers, door shut; you don’t want anyone to see, hear, or bother you. You never want to leave your safe place. You put music on to keep your thoughts from driving you mad; silence is your enemy.
The rest of the world is trying to get you to come out; telling you to go to school or work and put on a brave face. Sometimes it cannot find you; you have changed from a happy, outgoing person to something you don’t even know yourself. The world does not expect the one it used to know to be so depressed.
You would rather sleep than be awake and play again. Your dreams are better than living in the world, where it is chaotic. Yes it is sad, I know, But we would rather hide our pain than let you know we have failed. We stopped being afraid of the monsters under the beds, because they are in us; we are the monster.
Sometimes just sitting there with your laptop in your lap and music in your ears is good enough for you, but not anyone else. Your parents are always saying, “What is wrong with you?!” “Don’t you ever do anything?” “Why are you so pathetic and worthless?” Now think about it. Who wants to deal with so much hectic?
You’re slowly giving up; the game of life is getting too hard. Sitting in our rooms thinking about the options you have been given for life; Live or Leave? Going through each day hoping you have the strength to keep going. Wandering if someone truly cares about you or not. Will they stay by your side and hold your hand or leave you in the dark?
But you cannot give up yet, you have to stay strong and keep your hopes up. Sometimes you need to venture away from your hiding spot and find something to do. A project you can do is to try and get out of your room sometimes. Take a walk, run a load of laundry, or clean the house; just take it easy, don’t go all out. You will need to build energy since you have not been so active.
Remember you can always comment or email me. I am here to listen and I don’t judge. You are stronger than you think you are.
Douglas Adams said “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” You will get stronger from all that you have been through, stronger than the ones who have not been through life’s “fun” games.
Stay Strong <3
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