No Orgasms? What’s The Point?
Remember your 20s, when sex was free and casual? No strings attached and no expectations? Sometimes that sounds heavenly. I know that I miss the days of one night stands and mornings of not remembering his name.
According to a study presented at the International Academy of Sex Research‘s annual meeting, the “fun” isn’t equal for all partners. They found that women were just as likely to engage in casual sex, but they were less likely to have an orgasm without a serious relationship.
Personally, I think these women were just hooking up with the wrong guys, but let’s see what the experts say.
“The notion of sexual liberation, where men and women both had equal access to casual sex, assumed a comparable likelihood of that sex being pleasurable,” Kim Wallen, a professor of neuroendocrinology at Emory University told the New York Times. “But that part of the playing field isn’t level.”
Time Health and Family reported that the researchers recruited 600 college students for the study, finding that women were half as likely to orgasm from oral sex or intercourse during a casual hookup than when they were in a serious relationship.
Oh come on, now! Do you really need love and commitment when his tongue is tripping the light fantastic on your lady parts? This should be simple: part A touches part B repeatedly, BAZINGA!
Unfortunately, the new study upholds a prior study conducted by New York University sociologist, Paula England. England studied over 24,000 college aged women from 21 colleges over five years, finding that just 40 percent reached orgasm during a hookup. In contrast, 80 percent of men found Nirvana during casual sex. For women in a relationship, however, nearly 75 percent had an orgasm during sex.
The researchers say women most likely do not feel comfortable telling their casual partner what they want and need during sex. Men tend to be less focused on pleasing a casual partner, as well.
Have any of you been watching the new Showtime series “Masters of Sex?” No, it isn’t about BDSM; it’s about Masters and Johnson, the first sex researchers in the 1950s. The reason I’m asking is that a great portion of that show is dedicated to showing how repressed women were sexually at the time. It seems sad to me that we haven’t really traveled that far in 60 years. It’s also sad men don’t focus on shared pleasure with a casual sex partner.
“I’m not going to try as hard as when I’m with someone I really care about,” Duvan Giraldo, 26, told the Times. Though, he said pleasing his partner is “always my mission.”
According to Casey Romaine, 22, hook-ups are often just about sharing an intimate moment, rather than having a particularly good sexual experience.
“I think a lot of the time it almost is weirdly irrelevant whether or not the sex is actually good,” she said.
While I agree that it is mostly about sharing an intimate moment, I disagree about the quality of the sex being important. If I get naked with someone, I want the OH! OH! OH! What about you?
Image Credit: Thinkstock