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Dress Like A Slut

Oct 27, 12 Dress Like A Slut

Now’s your chance, and you can even get away with it!

Ahhh, Halloween. Tricks, treats, children enjoying an evening of imagination and sweet treats, oh and let’s not forget tramps.

All ‘Hallows Eve has come quite a long way from the Celtic Samhain celebration of the summer’s end, and now it’s more of a light hearted evening of fun for children, and adults with the ‘I’m still a Toys R Us Kid’ mindset. (I am still a Toys R Us Kid, and I am dressing up as Buzz Lightyear, just in case you were wondering-to infinity and beyond!)

Anyhow, back to the sultriness.

Every year around this time I start getting the junk mail from the surrounding party stores jam packed with a vast array of costumes for babies, men, women, and dogs alike, and I’m always struck with an old High School memory; A girl I knew then said to me, “Halloween is the one night a year that girls can dress up like complete sluts and get away with it” she laughed as she said it and continued to tell me about her Playboy Racy Referee costume. For whatever reason, that conversation was seared into my mind, and I can’t help but think about it every year around this time.

It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.

With costumes titled Touchdown Tease, Teen Maid to Tease, Sergeant Sexy, Sultry Swashbuckler, Playboy Pink Sexy Girlfriend and Aye Aye Admiral, long gone are the days of Snow White, Dorothy, and the timeless Witch.

Now it seems like there’s an unspoken competition to see who can make something arbitrary, juvenile, or downright stupid become something sexy.

Just a few examples of some stupid things I’ve seen are, Sexy Nemo, Sexy Crayon Dress, and Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader; give me a break-these are ridiculous.

It never bothered me much as a young man. Eye candy, real candy, and a fun filled night sounded like a good deal to me. Well, now I’ve got a daughter, and I see things differently… Very very differently.

I’m not looking forward to the days when my little girl wants to go out dressed up like a tramp, and I have to go dressed up as a gun wielding angry dad. (No relation to Angry Birds) Hopefully if I’ve done my job well, I won’t have to have to face an October 31st like that though, but I’m wandering from my point.

Why does everything have to be so sexy? What happened to funny creative costumes that you and your friends, or you and your parents, worked on and thought about since August or September? Costumes that were a play on words like Cereal Killer-a trench coat with dismembered cereal boxes fixed all about, or

I remember being a ninja four or five years in a row-my mom even made that costume, and probably (hopefully) altered it as I grew, but I really don’t remember that part. I also remember one year being a mummy. She bought a few dozen rolls of gauze and soaked them in coffee grounds. After letting them dry out, she wrapped me up and off we went for cavities. Although none of them were very funny or witty, I was also probably 6, so the wit would have been above my head anyhow.

I’ve seen some pretty awesome costumes if you have yet to make your decision. Some of them are pretty clever unless, of course, you want to dress up like a slut and be able to get away with it. In which case, please just be safe!

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  • Anonymous

    This is not good for our toddlers who only wants to have pretend play toys.